Monday, April 19, 2010

tears of a clown

one of my favorite music videos. so moving and poignant

Saturday, April 17, 2010

Monday, April 12, 2010


I've been through of lot of crazy experiences, but last night was one of the most frightening moments of my life. After a long day of mixing and making magic at Seahorse Sound Studios, my dear friend and producer, not to mention mentor, Crooked Cowboy, headed for home, and I followed a few minutes after. I texted him from the studio about mastering. He did not respond, but I did not really think anything of it, and I hopped on the 210 San Bernadino freeway to be on my way. It was pouring buckets of hard rain, and I could barely see in front of me. I was going fairly slow and driving carefully, while my tired ears listened to the mixes from the day. Some cars started slowing down and I crept past what looked like a familiar vehicle, stopped in the middle of the freeway, facing oncoming traffic. The car was totaled; the windows and windshield were shattered, there were no lights, and it looked quite horrific. I will never forget the image of that vehicle and how it had a quiet, eerie stillness about it. The scene was very, very dark. There was a large truck pulled over on the side of the freeway, and no officers on the scene, so it must had just happened. I texted Crooked Cowboy to see if he was safely driving, in hopes that my wild mind was playing tricks on me, but he did not respond. I frantically called him and only reached his voicemail. My body grew numb, and I exited the freeway to turn around. From the looks of the accident, whoever was in that vehicle surely could not have made it. As I drove to get back on the freeway, I could barely see in front of me. My mind was spinning in circles, and I felt that I was going to faint. Is that his vehicle? Am I going to come back to find him dead? Is this wonderful person who believes in my music and was out there to work with me, now lifeless? This was literally a worst-nightmare scenario. The drive back to the freeway seemed to take years. I was trying my best not to panic, and just to get there and find out if it was him. I got back on the 210 ramp and slowly made my way back to the scene. The traffic was now fairly stopped, and all of the cars were trying to pass to the left. I made my way over to the right, hands gripping the wheel. My heart heavily dropped when I saw the Toyota emblem, and confirmed it was indeed his vehicle. Words really cannot describe the horrid feeling. It is basically this:


I pulled over off the freeway, and an officer walked to my car and asked what I was doing there. I quietly whispered, "I think that's my friend." The officer asked me his name and what he looks like and said he'd be right back. I peered out the window and lo and behold, there was my talented, big-hearted friend in his black hat, standing in the rain, talking to an officer. Golly gee, nothing short of a miracle. A very shaken Crooked Cowboy walked to my car, and told me how his car hit water and he rode on top of the water, and lost control of his vehicle. It flipped, hit the freeway divider, and plopped into the middle of the freeway, facing huge trucks and cars. He managed to climb out of his vehicle on the right side, and raced across the freeway, through traffic and pouring rain. It's amazing. A-M-A-Z-I-N-G.

So yeah, life is short. You never know when it wants to take you or someone you love. Share your love and self with others, because we really just never know. I love the people in my life very much, and want them all to know that. Oh yes, and life, I love you too.

(photo of Crooked Cowboy by the beautiful Amanda Franny)

Monday, April 5, 2010

Indian Paintbrushes and Bluebonnets

I just recently returned from a trip to Texas. Haven't been in a while. I landed in Austin and enjoyed the warm wind and scenic route out to College Station, where my ma sets up camp and teaches college. The long road was framed with vibrant bluebonnets and colorful, coral red Indian paintbrushes, otherwise known as "prairie fire". Waiting for me were Grandma's gooey brownies and mom's soft, peanut butter cookies. The first meal was that oh so delicious TexMex that I adore, complete with warm queso dip and a satisfying shrimp dish.

The first full day was magical, as my grandmother, brother-Thomas, and I went to visit our old stomping grounds out in the woods. Due to family being in the military, I've had to move and change schools a lot. Coldspring was actually my favorite place to attend school. During that time I lived on a huge plot of land on the hem of the Sam Houston National Forest, as well as my great Uncle Johnny's farm. I went to school in Coldspring for three-and-a-half years before I was whisked out of 9th grade mid-year (during Mrs. Thompson's English class), and popped into a new high school in Willis, Texas. The following summer, I went out for a regular visit to my dad's place near the beach, where I skateboarded underneath the blue skies and sunshine, jammed to his Led Zeppelin records, and experienced beloved, blissful freedom..... and decided California was the place for me. Thus, I moved to the Golden State, jumped into my third high school, and have called it home ever since..... but, I still do call Texas home.......

This is my lovely grandma, after arriving to our old plot of land in Evergreen. This beautiful woman managed to climb through a narrow, rusty fence to go explore with us. The birds were singing, and it was a crisp, gorgeous day.

Hmm...Howlin' Wolf Lane? This is actually the corner of the dirt road where my little brother, Paul, and I would stand and wait for the bus. He was in elementary school and I was in junior high. There were times where we'd have to avoid vicious chow dogs, as well as deep, wet mud that we'd sink into. My brother and I would sit on separate ends of the bus, but now I would sit next to him every day.

Our "back yard". .. . .

This was the corner store. Unfortunately it's closed now.

Headed to charming Coldspring, Texas.

This is a real barber shop! Haircuts for five dollars. Magical.

This right here is "the Hanging Tree".....

I took more photos, but don't want to put too many in one post... but I highly suggest any visitors near San Jacinto County, Texas, check out this special little town.

Now, onto my favorite part of the trip... After dining at the Hop, a spot where we used to dig in to yummy grub and milkshakes after football games and such... we headed out to my Uncle Johnny's beautiful farm, where we were greeted with big hugs and ice cold sweet tea. This place was also my home, and is very near and dear to me.....

That lil' house in the upper right corner is where we lived with my Grandma. How lucky was I?? The woods and ponds were my oasis and terrain to explore. I pretty much credit this wilderness with saving my life .. . .. . . . .. . . . .

This groovy lake was in our front yard. A serene spot for fishin' and relaxin'.

This was the path to the bus stop every morning and afternoon. Generally we'd have to pass several stoic, and sometimes grumpy, cows.....

There are two small ponds and two large ponds on the property. I have explored every inch of this land. On the other side of this pond is a hidden stream with little waterfalls, which I loved to splash in.

We'd pick dewberries when they were in season, and my ma would make homemade dewberry pie.

All in all, I will always be a southern belle.

sweet owl cake!

yum yum yum